Managing Client Boundaries as a Heart-Centered Coach
Hey, heart-centered coach!
If you love helping others (especially if you have a bit of a people-pleasing personality), you may sometimes find yourself feeling spread thin and overtaxed trying to be ALL things for your clients.
One of the biggest challenges new coaches face is BURNOUT.
I know, I’ve been there!
It was a huge wake-up call when a former client told me (over delicious tacos), “Ashley, you WAY over-deliver. You’d be an even better coach if you took a step back.”
That was the beginning of a journey to finding ways to both preserve my energy, AND improve my clients’ results.
So in this post, let’s explore four key principles for doing just that!
Strategy 1: Empower your clients to take action… by stepping back
If you love helping and seeing others succeed, it’s really tempting to fill all the space, or swoop in and do the hard work for your clients — because hey, some stuff is just easy for you, and it will save them time!
But as a coach, it’s not your job to do all the work for your clients. It’s an easy trap to fall into, but it actually does a huge disservice to them.
It IS your job to leave space so they can step up and take empowered action!
That includes: Taking notes, following up on action items, scheduling sessions, and everything an empowered person does for themselves.
When you step back, your client can step up.
It’s your job to be there to coach them through the roadblocks, and when something isn’t going to plan, provide support to get to the heart of what’s happening.
But learn to see your client as the fully capable person they are. Leave space for them to practice, lean into their own power, and experience their own emotional growth!
You’ll be happier, and they’ll be happier too — because they’ll be learning valuable skills, developing their confidence, and making their own decisions.
One day, your client will move on from your coaching, and they’ll be ready to take on the world because you gave them space to develop their own agency, self-determination, and skillset.
Questions to ask yourself:
➳ How am I leaving room for my client to take empowered action?
➳ In what ways am I trying to do it all for them?
➳ How can I leave more room for their most empowered self to emerge?
Strategy 2: Apply accountability with love
What happens when a client arrives for session and hasn’t taken the action they committed to last time? We all fall short, and we’re all human -- but this is an ideal time for a conversation about what they need in order to succeed - mainly, from themselves!
As a heart-centered coach, I believe the most loving thing you can do for your clients is to see them as their highest selves, and treat them accordingly.
Your clients have limitless potential and are more than capable of taking inspired action and reaching their goals!
When you see your clients as their highest and wisest selves, you invite them to be exactly that.
And when they feel disappointed in themselves for not taking action, it’s important to stand alongside their highest and wisest self, and support them through honestly examining what happened, so they can see the root cause clearly and feel empowered to address it.
In many ways, this IS the work -- supporting your clients in holding the vision for who they want to be, and what they want to build, and also guiding them in removing roadblocks along the way.
Questions to ask yourself:
➳ In what ways am I seeing my client as their highest and wisest self?
➳ In what ways am I treating them as less than that?
➳ What new structures or policies can I put in place to both hold my client accountable, and give me more freedom to be my best self?
Strategy 3: Lead by example and model the behavior you want
One of the toughest lessons I learned came in a season of my business where I was maxed out with 8 clients at once.
My coaching and mentoring goes very deep, so I was feeling stretched thin -- and at the time, I was guiding my clients through creating their morning routines... while I was letting mine slip.
The truth is: we lead our clients by EXAMPLE every day.
The way you treat yourself is the way your clients will learn to treat themselves.
So in a real sense, taking care of yourself -- honoring your commitments to yourself and your health; maintaining healthy boundaries with people in your life, including clients; and generally treating yourself like a beloved friend -- becomes even MORE important when your clients are looking to you for their example.
So when you’re overtaxing yourself, burning the candle at both ends, or undervaluing your time in your prices -- what are you teaching your clients?
When you choose to honor your own boundaries and protect your energy by taking care of yourself and your needs first, and value your time and expertise, what are you teaching your clients?
Even the things you think they can’t see (like the way you talk to yourself when you’re feeling stressed) factor in here!
Questions to ask yourself:
➳ What behaviors and attitudes do I want my clients to adopt?
➳ In what areas am I modeling those behaviors and attitudes?
➳ In what areas am I modeling unhealthy patterns instead?
Strategy 4: Give your clients structure, and apply it consistently
As humans, we’re all in the midst of some kind of learning and growth process, and structure is a key element of learning!
I rely on my coach to create structure and boundaries, and to apply them consistently - and my clients rely on me for the same!
So, are you clear on start times, cancellations, rescheduling policies, between-session check-ins, and what to expect on each call? Do your clients understand what their responsibilities are, and what they need to do to get the most out of the coaching experience?
This isn’t about punishing anyone for not knowing the rules, or for showing up late to a session. It is about clear communication, maintaining trust, and knowing what each person is responsible for bringing to the relationship.
Reliable, consistent structure supports your clients in learning and growing.
This may sound simple or obvious, but even basic structure goes a long way towards giving your client the sense that they’re in a well-designed program!
Questions to ask yourself:
➳ Am I giving my clients reliable structure throughout the experience?
➳ Am I making expectations and responsibilities clear?
➳ Do I honor those structures myself?
Recap
There you have it! Four best practices for managing client boundaries and expectations — so you can protect your energy AND empower your clients to become who they want to be!
Empower your clients to take action — by stepping back
Apply accountability — with love
Lead by example — model the behavior you want
Give your clients structure — and apply it consistently
Just for you!
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